What makes a good listener? Is it someone who simply repeats what was said to them? I firmly believe a good listener is someone who not only takes in the information you tell them, but expands on the conversation as a whole. This, is the art of conversation, adding a response to a simple sentence and leaving all parties involved with something to think about.
Our day to day conversations have an impact on us all. In fact, some conversations can even lead to a drastic mood change. As we communicate with each other, we are putting a part of our emotions behind our words, and the topic can trigger some heightened emotions in some of us. Whether those emotions are positive or negative is up to the person involved. These instances are where being a good listener can come in handy in defusing or re-directing an intense conversation.
It's easy for us to react with our emotions, but there is a sense of maturity to sit and process what we hear, then process what we want to say. There are many things to take into consideration when thinking of a response. The intonation, vocabulary, context and even speed of our speech are far more important than we realize. Someone who is listening to you is subconsciously paying attention to all of these things, not in a judgemental way against you, but to better understand how the conversation is flowing.
Identifying the flow of how the conversation can help you be a better listener. Surprisingly enough, being a good listener does not only entail using your ears, but your eyes in order to understand the body language that is going on. If someone is using intense body movements, than you can infer that they are feeling upset about something. Use your intuition and understanding of their emotions to guide the conversation in a mutually beneficial way.
No matter who you're talking with, try and be a good listener. People want to be heard in one or another, and allowing someone that comfort in knowing that they are heard is a very small gesture you can give to the world.
-Balfour Wong
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